Three Words For Forever
by konpyu-tamania
Summary: After CCS Sayoran tries to deal with Sakura being out of reach.


**_FIC for fanaticalone_**  
Title: Three Words for Forever  
Author: mellonemrys  
Fandom: Card Captor Sakura  
Characters: Sakura, Sayoran  
Notes/ Warnings: Okay decided to write this to stop the GW muses from taking over my fan fics like they have been for the past two weeks...Slightly AU mainly since I don't remember the series perfectly ; and this is also my first time writing these characters or CCS...even though I read/ watched CCS a very long time ago...  
Request: For: **fanaticalone**  
Fandom: Any  
Character/Pairing: Any  
Situation: Breaking up is hard to do.  
Write about the ending of a canon relationship. It doesn't have to be a romance; it can be a family relationship that goes sour, a close friendship, a business partnership or whatever.  
Note: I'd rather not see OOC-ness or character bashing in these; work with the characters as they are. Other than that, whatever you think could happen to cause the break between your chosen characters is fair game.

* * *

Meeting someone again after years apart is a wonderful feeling. Sometimes you lose yourself in that moment, which seems to last forever. And then you want to be with them always, you want to look into their eyes and smile when they laugh. After you come back things are supposed to go back to how they were before, and you are supposed to be happy. But sometimes they don't. Things and people change over the years, even though you've known them, and spoken in letters. Things still change, leaving you off guard and lonely.

When I came to Japan I was Sakura's opponent. We both tried to obtain the same thing, and in the end she won, both the Clow cards and my heart. I wouldn't admit it to her, or to myself for that matter, but she had. After everything we had done together and supported each other in I still couldn't say three words to her.

When I left for Hong Kong again it was an easy way to not tell her my feelings. If I told her and then left how would she react? Would she hate me for leaving? Or would she not even return my feelings for her?

We stayed in touch, writing to each other every month or so, but we went on with our lives, separately. When I came back I suppose I expected that she would still be there for me. I expected her to wait, even though she didn't know that she was waiting. When I came back the first person I met was her boyfriend. She was waiting for me, but not alone. I smiled, even though I felt sick.

I had imagined coming off the plane, seeing her then running up and hugging her until my arms were tired. I wanted to finally tell her. I wanted to see her smile when I asked her to marry me. Instead Sakura asked me to be best man. Her fiancé didn't know anyone that could come to the wedding. I said yes and as soon as no one was looking slipped the ring and a note into her purse. I don't know what she was thinking but in the car to their house she started crying. I only stayed for one day, I lied and said something had happened at home and I needed to go back early. She smiled and nodded, then let me go, on my own.

I came to the wedding like I had promised. Sakura was even more beautiful in her pink wedding dress. The cherry trees had just started to bloom so everything was covered in pink petals. It was a wonderful ceremony for a wonderful, happy couple. After the wedding was harder; I can't have her was the only thing that was running through my mind. She danced a few songs with her husband and her father then came up to me.

She pulled on a chain around her neck and lifted up the Key of Clow. When she turned it I saw my ring. She hadn't cried for the whole day, but now tears came freely and stripped her cheeks with red. I hugged her close to me and tried to banish my own tears, but it only made it worse. We didn't say anything but we danced until candles were lit and the long tables filled with hungry guests. I let her husband take her hand, finally giving her up, admitting my mistake.

I haven't seen Sakura since that day four years ago. I haven't seen many people at all. I've seen the pages of books, and the screens of computers, and the backs of libraries in order to keep my mind away from the subject of Sakura. But every once in a while I'll translate something that reminds me. I'll see a picture of Arthur and Guinevere in a manuscript, or find a quote from Shakespeare. I've almost called her so many times, or written her a letter but like before I can't. I can't say the three words I have been thinking since we first met.

If I could go back I would in an instant. But I can't so I must learn to live without her, and with my regret. Love as a word can be thrown out on a whim. It can mean nothing or everything at a particular moment, and is one of the most powerful words in the world because of it. I want to tell her my feelings, but I think she already knows, that's why even though I no longer answer her calls and letters she continues to make them.


End file.
